September is NICU Awareness Month!  We sat down with Abbie, our Social Media Coordinator at Copper Pearl, who recently experienced life as a NICU mom.  Abbie opens up about her journey, offering insight and advice to other parents navigating the NICU.

 

Becoming a parent is filled with dreams of bringing your baby home and starting your new life together.  But when my baby was born 6 weeks premature and admitted to the NICU, our journey took a different path.  The NICU became our world - one of challenges, hope, and resilience.

In honor of NICU Awareness Month, I'm sharing my story to offer support and encouragement to other parents navigating this uncertain time.  My hope is to bring comfort and strength to those who need it most.

Can you share what it was like for you when you first learned your baby would be going into the NICU?

As I'm sure it is for many parents, ending up in the NICU was a complete surprise for us.  Our first baby was born six weeks premature (and while we were on vacation!), which led to almost a month of time spent in the NICU in a place far from home.  Not only were we completely thrown into our parenting journey, but we were far away from family, friends, and every baby necessity we owned (although we didn't have much yet anyway).  We were scared and confused.  We were worried about our baby boy, but also so grateful that he was safe and in great hands.  I was recovering from an emergency C-section, but we spent the first week back and forth between our NICU room and my recovery room.  We took our NICU journey day by day.

What were some of the biggest challenges you faced during your baby's NICU stay?

One of the hardest things for me was coming to terms with the way my baby's birth went.  As my first-born, I had dreamed of those first blissful moments - bringing my baby home and embracing the start of our new life together.  Because he was born via emergency C-section and taken directly to the NICU, I was unable to hold him in the first few hours of his life.  I actually only saw the back of his head when he was taken from the room!  I really struggled with that, and felt like we didn't have the opportunity to connect and bond like I had imagined.  Thankfully, we had many chances for snuggles later on.  

Something that both my husband and I struggled with was waiting.  Each day, we would meet with our baby's team of doctors and hear any updates they had on his progress. They told us from the beginning that it would be a long road, as he needed to develop skills that are typically developed in the womb.  We supported him as he learned to breathe on his own, and later eat on his own.  We wondered each day when we would get to bring him home. It was hard to not feel frustrated sometimes.

What support systems helped you get through that time?

We felt so much love and support from our families, even though we were a few hours-drive from home. We had family members take road trips back and forth to visit us, meet the baby, meal prep for us, and just stay to comfort and take our minds off of things.  It meant so much to us.

We also felt so supported and loved by our baby's doctors and nurses.  NICU nurses are angels sent from heaven!  His nurse's became some of our closest friends, as we spent almost all day, every day with them during our NICU stay.  They taught us so much about taking care of a premature baby, encouraged us to stay positive, and helped make the experience special by personalizing our room and setting up photo shoots with our baby.  I don't think they realize just how much they helped us through that difficult time.

How did you balance your own self-care while your baby was in the NICU?

I'll be honest - this wasn't easy for me!  I was recovering from a C-section, and I felt like we were in survival mode during our NICU stay.  My husband and I made an effort to connect when we weren't at the NICU - watching movies together, grabbing dessert, and just talking.  Talking was really important for us during this time.  It helped us stay positive and connected.  We'd talk about everything - not just our worries, but "would you rather" questions, favorite memories from dating, etc.  

As far as my own self-care, I always felt a lot better when I took a shower and put on some comfy clothes for the day.  I read lots of books while I snuggled our baby at the NICU, which is one of my favorite hobbies. My mom inspired me to keep a gratitude journal while we were there, and I still look back on it.  It has helped me to realize that although what we went through was difficult, there were so many blessings that came from it.

What advice would you give to other parents with babies in the NICU?

My biggest piece of advice is to take things one day at a time.  The NICU journey can feel overwhelming, but focusing on small wins and progress (no matter how small!) helped us stay grounded.  Don't be afraid to ask questions or express how you're feeling. And, remember to take care of yourself during this experience.  Sleeping, getting fresh air, journaling, or talking to a loved one are all great ways to do this.  Remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

How has your experience shaped your approach to parenting today?

The NICU taught me to be patient, although it's still something I work on every day.  It also taught me to be flexible.  Parenting in the NICU meant celebrating every small milestone, and learning to let go of things I couldn't control.  This is still something we get to do as we support our baby in physical therapy and celebrate the daily progress he makes. It taught me to be present, and enjoy every moment. It also taught me to take lots of pictures and videos - I still look back on those memories from our NICU journey and feel so blessed.