Brooke Romney is a writer, speaker, and the best selling author of 52 Modern Manners for Teens and 52 Modern Manners for Kids. Her posts on @brookeromneywrites have garnered millions of views and attracted a vibrant community of intentional parents. She has been featured in The Washington Post, Deseret News, Scary Mommy, Studio 5 and a host of other online publications where her fresh perspective continues to influence people for good.
Can you tell us a little about your background and what inspired you to start writing?
Writing has always been an incredible tool that helps me find meaning and purpose in life. With the advent of blogs and social media, it also became a wonderful way to find and create community while sharing what is on my heart. One of my greatest joys in life has been using my writing to help connect parents all over the world so we all feel a little less alone.
In your book, you talk about creating meaningful connections. What are some activities or practices that have worked well for you and your family?
As a mom, having something I do with each kid "one on one" that is our "thing" has been such a great way to stay connected. I wish I would have started it earlier! It might be rebounding a basketball, making cookies each week, reading a book out loud, doing evening stretches or playing a certain game together, but having a "go-to" helps me be intentional about spending that individual time together more often. The activity might change as their interests change or they get older, but keeping something consistent that feels like ours makes a difference. I'm not perfect at it, and sometimes weeks go by, but when it happens we all love it.
When it comes to connecting with other families, I realized that I didn't need to make things special or stressful, people just love being invited and having a chance to be together. The easier I could make it on myself, the more likely I was to make it happen. So, I would often invite people to meet at a park or pool with their own dinner and I would bring dessert or I would invite mom's to meet at a playplace to grab lunch so the kids could play and we could chat.
And don't forget to connect with your spouse. Prioritizing that relationship can seem like just "one more thing" in the midst of parenthood, but it's worth it.
What is the best parenting advice you have ever received?
This might seem simple but it's from Dr. Lisa Damour and she said: "Children need both warmth and structure to feel healthy and happy." There are a million pieces of advice out there, but this one rings true to me AND it is doable in just about every situation and stage. I like to check myself and make sure that I'm not over indexing on either side.
Can you share a memorable experience where you learned an important lesson from your children?
One of my sons had played soccer his entire life. After making the high school team his sophomore year and playing through the season, he decided he wanted to try something new, so he stopped playing soccer and joined the football and lacrosse teams. Both were sports he had never played. We were all shocked. Why would you leave something you were great at just to go be a beginner?
He said, "I've had so much fun with soccer, but I'm ready to do something new. So many of the things I've learned and practiced for all these years in soccer will transfer to football and lacrosse. I'll work hard, and I know I'll have a good time."'
His willingness to be a beginner and try something new was so inspiring to me. He wasn't worried about his ego, his playing time, or what other people would think. He wasn't stressed or playing the "what if" game. He held realistic expectations but focused on the positive. And he had an incredible experience.
I'm inspired by his bravery and his willingness to take a risk. I love how he sees new experiences and exciting instead of scary and I'm working hard to embrace his way of doing life just a little more.
What message do you want to send to parents who are struggling to find their way in the journey of raising teens?
A few things:
1. Find a community that helps remind you what the reality of raising teens is like. The more I write about parenting teens and get feedback from so many parents, the more I realize that many of the experiences and feelings we go through are universal even if the details are different. You are not alone!
2. Stretch the good moments. There are going to be plenty of tricky times, but there are also going to be plenty of great ones. Marinate in them. Let them stick. Celebrate your teens any chance you get.
3. Hold boundaries. Your teens need rules, expectations, and boundaries. They have to have something to push against so they feel safe. They won't like them or be happy about them, but they need them now and will thank you later.
How have you found yourself in motherhood?
When I stopped trying to do motherhood like everyone else and started embracing the kind of mom I am, I became so much happier and satisfied in my role. I try my best to learn and improve daily in small ways because growth and progress brings happiness. Instead of feeling like a martyr, I told myself that this was the life I chose and it was up to me to do it in a way that brought me joy. I've always wanted my kids to remember a mom who loved what she did, because I do, so I tried to show it. There have still been really difficult times, buckets of tears, anxious years, and moments and stages I would not want to go back to but it's all been worth it because of them. And motherhood is FUN! I never wanted to be so lost in the weeds that I failed to see the everyday magic.
What are your favorite products at Copper Pearl?
The knotted gowns, swaddles, and bibs are the best! I'm also loving the clothing lines!!
You can use the code COPPER to save 25% on any of Brooke's Modern Manner books! Shop Brooke's online shop here.